descoberta de erro de pontos de concurso

 No dia  13.05.2026, eu descobri que em um dos concursos que eu passei a nota foi colocada pela banca estava errada, que tristeza foi no meu ser, eu não sabia que eles tinham errado. eu sei que o erro não foi meu, mas me senti culpado por isso. não me senti culpado 100 por cento, mas fiquei bastante triste pela outra pessoa que deveria ter passado. aaah se eu tivesse sabido disso antes do estado probatório, eu nem assumiria. Mas enfim, vim descobrir depois de 5 anos. Que pena!!!! 

A Letter to My Future Self

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Personal Statement: Antonio Fernandes Dias Júnior (April 6, 2026)

Hi, it’s me on April 6, 2026. I am Antonio Fernandes Dias Júnior. I’m here to say that I’m doing a bit better, though my doubts about life have only increased. I have religious OCD (Scrupulosity), and I’ve been accepting myself these days. Out of the last few years, the past two have been lighter; I’ve freed myself from a lot of religious misery, and I’m slowly letting go of the rest. I wish it would happen faster, because I’ve already lost so much of my life to this wretchedness. Yes, this is a misery in my life. It has always held me back in so many areas, and the worst part is that it is RELIGIOUS. It hit the very thing I had so much respect for!

I also discovered that the Bible is full of errors—what a disappointment! The book I based my life on is full of contradictions, just like me. I also realized that I invented a God, a Holy Spirit, and a Jesus who are also wretched—what a disaster! Why didn’t I discover this sooner? My youth was lost; I lived for this. What a shame! Why is the world so crazy? Why are people so mad? Why did I have to have this disorder? Why didn’t it go to Hitler, Pablo Escobar, Trump, or the drug traffickers in Rio de Janeiro?

Honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t lose my mind during these years. I admire my own strength and my will to live. Despite all of this, I love life. I love going out, I love my family, I love my wife, I love existing among people—I love so many things in life.

I also feel a deep disappointment regarding the things I believed in; I made so many mistakes there! Also, God doesn't cooperate—if He exists. I no longer believe in the Christian God with that same conviction. If I had to put it into a percentage, I think I only believe about 10% now. I wanted to believe, you know! But the Bible doesn't help; it's so full of contradictions that it’s impossible to accept—it is too detached from reality.

I am not revolted; despite everything I’ve been through, I’m just being sincere and speaking the truth for me to read years from now. Returning to religion: I’ve never seen a blind person see, a dead person rise, nor a paraplegic walk again through the power of prayer. There always has to be the intervention of medicine, of science. This messes with my mind deeply.

Anyway, there are still some things I invented in my mind that I need to let go of. I discovered the truth, but I’ve lived a certain lifestyle for a long time and I’m used to it—the guilt, the fear, the rituals (even if I don't perform them), the uncertainties. I know I won’t reach 100% certainty, but at the very least, I want to leave behind the majority of these miseries that have surrounded me for many years.

I believe I am close to overcoming these disasters that exist within me; it’s only a matter of time. Today, I am making a decision that will change 90% of my life for the better. If there is any God—in Islam, the God of the Jews, Afro-Brazilian deities, or a true Christian God—I am waiting for it to be revealed in a clear way; not a hallucination of my mind, nor things created by my imagination.

Today, I take a new path in my life.

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03/09/2017

today i will start one new road on my life
in jesus' name i will win this TOC and  all the thing that make me feel down
yes, i will win it.

Don't Say Nothing

Don't say nothing, keep all this thing by me
I don't worry about it if we are not this way
It is all real my lies, and this way doesn't spoil me

Nights and days fill themselves, our eternal love and hate
I imagine you and fix you, I do the scene that I want
I take off my cloth to you, it is my bigger love fiction
I remade you just to my pleasure

I want you so much
Just to my pleasure
I want you so much
Just to my Pleasure


Don't come now with this insinuations
OF your defects or of some normal fear
Maybe you aren't nothing that I imagine
But if you are not, It doesn't hurt me



20/07/2017--------Thursday.17:42 pm
rainy day in my Room
I'm so so!
But I am enjoying the music.

FANTASY

CALL ME, TELL ME, TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE
BUT TELL THE TRUTH WITH LOVE TO IT NOT HURT ME
YOU LIE TO ME SAYING THAT MISS ME
AND SAY THAT DIDN'T FORGET ME YET
SAY THAT HER LOVE IT'S ME

CONFESS THAT I WAS RIGHT AND YOU WERE WRONG
DISGUISE DON'T SAY THAT THIS MAN MAKE YOU HAPPIER
LIE TO ME, HIDE THE TRUTH
DREAM IS BETTER THAN SUFFER
LIE TO ME AND HELP ME TO LIVE

LET ME THINK THAT ALL THIS IS FANTASY
LET ME THINK THAT I HAVE YOU ALL THE DAYS
LET ME THINK THAT I NEVER LOST YOU
LET ME LOVE YOU MORE TODAY THAN BEFORE
UNLESS ONE MOMENT, I WANT TO HAVE YOU HERE



22/05/2017
MONDAY, AFTERNOON

STAY WITH ME

I LOVE YOU STAY WITH ME
YOUR WAY OF TO BE TAKE ME AND I DID NOT PERCEIVE
I WANT YOU, BUT YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN ME
GIVE ME YOUR HEART AND I WILL GIVE YOU BACK IN DOUBLE THE  PASSION
TO YOU MY CARD ARE ALL IN THE TABLE, I CAN'T , I DON'T WANT ANY SURPRISE TO US
OUR LOVE IS BEAUTY, SO BEAUTY, NOTHING CAN BE MORE BEAUTY THAN OUR LOVE
OUR LOVE IS BEAUTY, SO BEAUTY, NOTHING CAN BE MORE BEAUTY THAN OUR LOVE
OUR LOVE

IT'S TO YOU THAT I SING THIS SONG
IT'S TO YOU THAT I SING THIS SONG


22/05/1992
MONDAY, AFTERNOON

I assumed you to the Brazil

To be happy to me don't cost expensive
If you are of side me, I feel so good
You always win me with your way
What is the mystery that you have

I packed the bags there is more than one week
It's lacking you call me to we run away together
I moved my profile to "dating"
Before you accept me, I assumed you to Brazil

why I love you? I don't know, But I want to love you more and more
what in all my life the people make to me, you made in less of a month








09/05/2017
tuesday, 15:55
In my Humble home